Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
A: Why are all those people running
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running
Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
Customer : What? Do you think I can't buy more?
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5]